Thursday, October 4, 2012

Second Chances

Last week I was reminded of how blessed I am to have the life I do. I am blessed that I was given a second chance at love and at happiness and I am so thankful that I chose to take it.

 Last week my wonderful husband bought me a gorgeous bunch of flowers and hand delivered it to me with a hand written card expressing his love and happiness.

Six years ago I met the man who was to become my husband. For me there was no lightning bolt or any particular moment when I knew he was the one. In fact the thought never crossed my mind. For me love came slowly but then quickly.....

I had finally decided that it was time to stop waiting for things to change before I did some of the things I wanted to do. I had always wanted to learn ballroom dancing and unfortunately following my failed first marriage I had been single for over 5 years. I decided that even though I didn't have a partner I could still learn, so off I went to the local bowling club where a group met once a week for social dancing and lessons. It was great, there were many older males who didn't have partners and who were only too happy to help me learn. I quickly discovered that the older gentlemen were much better to dance with as they new how to lead and that made it much easier for me to learn how to dance. 

Anyway..... one week at dancing my future husband's mother came. I knew Nick's mum from Nicholas' school. Nick = husband, Nicholas = son. That's how we distinguish them in our house. It still gets confusing at times, Nick's family still call him Nicholas occasionally and Nicholas' friends all call him Nic, it makes for some interesting conversations sometimes until I realise I am talking about the wrong Nick :-)

Nick's mum was a teacher at Nicholas'school as well as my P & F buddy (it was a small P & F, I nearly 
walked out of my first meeting when I thought I might have to take one of the three positions on the committee, fortunately a fourth person walked in late and I was saved) One night Nick's mum came to the club for dancing as her eldest son was getting married and the bridal party, as well as the family wanted to learn how to dance for the Bridal Waltz etc. They ended up getting private lessons but a few months later just after the eldest's wedding it was time to prepare for Nick's sister's wedding. The family had all enjoyed dancing so much they decided to continue with lessons however Nick no longer had a dance partner and his Mum thought of me. 

Like I said I had no romantic inclinations at all. Nick was only 22, I was almost 30 and a single mother of a 7 year old. I was just there to dance. I enjoyed the company and his family are all lovely, even when I was invited to the wedding as Nick's partner I thought nothing of it, just figuring that we were able to participate in the family dance together. 

After the wedding Nick told me how he felt and I was quite horrified, I even said "What will your mother think?" Lucky for me he was quite persistent and very convincing and after a few months I agreed to officially date him, six months later we were engaged and then a further five months and we were married.

It was a wonderful courtship but also very difficult. I had a lot of healing to do and Nick prayerfully, patiently and lovingly helped me begin to overcome all of the baggage I still carried from my past. So while it took me a while to realise I was in love, once I did I fell head over heels.

I didn't make it very easy to love me back, I pushed Nick away many times expecting him to react in a certain way and he always surprised me by responding with love and understanding, he showed me that whilst he loved me and wanted to make me happy he still stood firm in his beliefs.

Our first year as a married couple and blended family was not easy either, we had lots of disagreements, I had lots of tears, Nicholas struggled to adjust to having a male authority figure around as well as sharing his mum with someone else. It was definitely an interesting year but through that year I grew to love my husband more and more every day and I still do. He is my best friend, I love spending time with him, in fact I prefer hanging out with him more than anyone else. He makes me so happy, he challenges me and makes me want to be a better wife, mother, friend and human being. 

Thank you Nick for the last 6 years, they have been the best and I am looking forward to spending many, many more with you and facing all of the tough times together, celebrating all of the good times and just hanging out with my best friend. 


Have you been given a second chance that has changed your life? I'd love to hear about it.


  1. What a beautiful story Nellie - really lovely thanks for sharing!
    I met you at Tab's wedding all those years ago & I still remember you & Nick sitting together looking really happy :)
    I love the McCarthy family - lovely people with great big hearts - you are lucky indeed! xx

  2. Yes agree with Jemima, a beautiful story, enjoyed reading every word and love hearing about second chances. Gx

  3. Lovely story Nellie. This little bub will just be the icing on the cake!

  4. Nellie, this really is beautiful to read, what a wonderful relationship you have. I have been lucky to have a second chance myself & there have been many tough times along the way, especially because I had 2 little girls when we met & then we had 2 children togethor. we fight really hard to make things work when times are tough & its definately all worth it. Now we just need your Nick to teach my Mick how to make romantic gestures like surprising his wife with flowers, LOL!!!!

  5. What a great story Nellie, so honest! It's refreshing to read that not every relationship is always perfect, that there are natural ups and downs but love wins out in the end. You sound like a very lucky lady :)